SoCS – The family zoo

 

I’m sure there was a time when I was really small that I liked the zoo; and I can’t really tell you when it changed, but I find the zoo so depressing.  One time, I found myself watching a lion pace in front of the bars of his cage and I couldn’t help but think that he looked so sad.  They are meant to roam wild and free, not sit in a cage for our enjoyment… just so we can say we saw one or came this close to one.

I took my children to the zoo a few times when they were younger, but I haven’t been in years; in fact, I’m wondering if I ever took Andru.  Which is totally fine with me.  I’m not one of those Moms who has to do something with the kids just because everyone around me is doing it… not anymore anyway.

So, given the fact that I’m not a fan of zoos, it leaves me wondering how the hell to fill up this post.

I’m thinking the only type of zoo I actually enjoy anymore is a family get-together.  We usually only have one once a year now and it’s always interesting to just sit and watch everyone, especially now that we are all older and have our own families.

There are certain families that only sit with “their own kind” and other individuals who walk around and try to talk to everyone.  There are kids running around having fun and doing what kids do.  Then you have the rebellious adults who act like kids half the time.  We always have a program whenever we get together, which I admit can be all sorts of cheesy (sorry Mom).  It’s hard to sit through them sometimes, especially when what you really want to do is interact with family you haven’t seen for a year.

But, I think it’s respectful to sit quietly through someone’s speech or performance, even though it might not be what you would like to do.  However, there are adults in my family who talk and carry on as if they’re too good to be a part of the program.  I say to you, I totally get it.  And maybe we should petition not to have them anymore…. which isn’t such a bad idea, actually.

The funniest part about me writing this right now is that my parents read my blog and I may have just done a formal petition right here without realizing it, and the worst part is, I can’t delete it… stream of conscious and all that.

We hold our zoo in May and I just received about 4 different notifications for it – well, maybe it was only 3.  My brother was just trying to be efficient since it was his first year sending them out.  My parents won’t be able to attend, which I’m slightly worried about.  They’re the only ones that keep order in our zoo and they will be missed.

Anyway, not much else to say today.  I hope you all have a fantastic Saturday.  The sun is finally shining here, and I needed that today.

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This post is part of Stream of Consciousness Saturday hosted by Linda G. Hill.  Today’s prompt was “zoo”.  Please feel free to click the link and join in the fun.

The downside to an overactive imagination

I never really thought I had a big imagination, which actually sounds weird coming from a writer.  I think we need a rather large imagination to write stories, so I obviously have one, but for some reason, I have always down-played it.  I’m not sure that will change, but I was thinking today about something that happened a while ago.

Adelle texted me some pictures of shoes, basically letting me know that she needed some.  Being the concerned Mom that I am, I ordered the ones she wanted, but I ended up ordering a second pair as well (because my baby needs shoes!).  When I went to check out, I was taken to a page to choose some lipstick, a gift for my order apparently.  I started looking at the colors and for some reason forgot that the order was shipping to Adelle.  I picked a color that I was super stoked about and even started imagining myself in front of a mirror putting it on and wearing it every day.  It wasn’t until I went to the next page that I realized everything was going to Adelle, even the lipstick.

I totally forgot about it until today.  She texted me when she got the shoes, but didn’t say anything about the lipstick so I asked her about it today.  She said it’s her favorite and she wears it every day…

Sometimes it’s depressing to realize the things you’ve imagined aren’t real.

Do you ever go to a store and have something you’ve picked out, but you talk yourself out of it because “reasons” and walk out of the store without it?  Only, you realize three hours later that you’re thinking about it and imagining yourself wearing it the next day and you kick yourself for walking away from it because, surprise! You really did want it!

Do you ever dream about something and wake up the next morning thinking it was real?  I’ve literally dreamed of putting on clothes from an amazing wardrobe trying to find something to wear only to wake up and realize nope!  That wasn’t my actual wardrobe, that was my dream wardrobe.  I’ve also shopped in stores all night long and picked out some pretty dope stuff only to wake up and realize it was all just a dream.

I do the same thing with stories.  I’ve written a few stories that created such vivid images in my head that I thought the characters were real people, or at the very least, they were characters in a movie I had watched.

Imagination is a great thing, but it has its downsides.

Wordless Wednesday – The Dance

This post is part of Wordless Wednesday. 

I know it’s supposed to be wordless, but I wanted to share the reason why I chose this picture.  I believe it is one of those pictures that perfectly captures a moment where words are not required in order to understand what is happening.  I also want to thank my son and his date for allowing me to share their picture.  It makes me smile every time I look at it.

 

 

 

One-Liner Wednesday – How to eat nachos

Every time Andru eats nachos, he always has chips left over that he throws away.  He said it’s because those chips don’t have any cheese on them.  I explained that he could eat one of those chips at the same time as one with cheese on it and this was his response:

“I don’t want to eat two chips at the same time; it will clutter my mouth!”

 

One-Liner Wednesday is hosted by Linda G. Hill. Click the link, read the rules and join in now! You won’t regret it!

Teaser Tuesday – Santa Olivia by Jacqueline Carey

 

Have you ever sifted through your Goodreads list?  I didn’t start doing it until I was determined to follow Teaser Tuesday every week.  And as much as I want to read way more than I am right now, I’m enjoying the trip down memory lane and sifting through the amazing books I’ve had the opportunity to read.

Santa Olivia by Jacqueline Carey is no exception.  I love the world Carey created and the story she told of a somewhat super hero.  Loup Garron is one of those characters you fall in love with and have a hard time letting go of when the book ends.  It was a little slow in places, but overall, it was a fantastic read and I highly recommend it.

For my Teaser, I had to turn to Goodreads and I’m using one of only two quotes posted there – the other one was only one very short sentence.  I should apologize, but I’m not going to because it really paints a picture of the book and what you’ll find in it.  I hope you enjoy!

“Hear, hear.’ Sister Martha hoisted her water glass. ‘Let the rigid stick of self-righteousness be dislodged from her very uptight ass.’
Father Ramon coughed.
‘A-fucking-men,’ Loup supplied helpfully.”
― Jacqueline Carey, Santa Olivia

 

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Teaser Tuesday is hosted by Jenn at Books and a Beat.

Anyone can play along! Just do the following:

• Grab your current read
• Open to a random page
• Share two (2) “teaser” sentences from somewhere on that page
• BE CAREFUL NOT TO INCLUDE SPOILERS! (make sure that what you share doesn’t give too much away! You don’t want to ruin the book for others!)
• Share the title & author, too, so that other TT participants can add the book to their TBR Lists if they like your teasers!

Mindful Monday – The Importance of Sleep

 

Sleep is one of those things I take for granted much of the time until I find myself facing a day after a night with very little of it.  I’m always shocked at how different my body feels.  The only way I can describe it is out of control.

And the other strange thing is it isn’t just my body.  It’s also my brain and my emotions.  I’ve found that sleep, or lack of it, affects everything.

I think the reason I was hyper-aware today was because I wanted to make sure I didn’t break down at work or do something really stupid (like almost fall asleep while driving to work this morning).

Here is a pretty small list of things I experienced today:

• My eyes were gritty and seemed to see the world in a different sort of light – almost like everything was slightly yellow around the edges
• I felt like I was surrounded by fog
• I found myself staring at something and losing myself in it, not being able to look away
• There were times when I felt a breath, an almost yawn, rise up from my stomach and by the time it reached my throat, it felt like I was going to cry
• Thoughts came slower than normal

I can’t imagine what happens to those of you out there who suffer from insomnia.  I had one night where I slept maybe two hours, but my fiance is going on three nights with maybe five hours total in those three days.

I know some people can’t control their sleep patterns, but for those of us who can, I can tell you that it’s important.  It’s important when you are on a mindful path.  It’s important when you suffer from depression because, for me at least, lack of sleep heightens my depression.  It’s that totally out-of-control feeling that I dislike feeling, only it’s almost worse when you add in sleep deprivation.

I’m looking forward to my bed and a long night of sleep; although, somehow I’m scared that I want to sleep so badly that I’m going to find myself staring at the clock every hour and counting down the total amount I’m going to get as it grows later and later.  Here’s hoping that doesn’t happen.

Happy sleeping everyone!

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Bee at A Spirit of Healing is currently hosting Mindful Monday while Colleen at Silver Threading is away.

Song Lyric Sunday – Paradise by Coldplay

Coldplay is an amazing band and I’ve always loved them.  I had a certain song in mind when I started writing this post, but then I kept listening to all the songs I love and it got to a point I really couldn’t decide.  I think that’s why I love lyrics so much though.  I finally decided to go with the one that spoke to my heart in a way that the others didn’t.

Sometimes you hear a song and it sounds like they are singing about you, your struggles, your life… that’s what I felt when I read the lyrics to this song and listened to it again today.  The lyric “and so lying underneath those stormy skies, she’d say, ‘oh, ohohohoh I know the sun must set to rise'” is amazing and brought tears to my eyes.  I’ve had a pretty stormy life, but there have been moments of paradise along the way.  Sometimes I believe that’s the best we can hope for.

But, don’t stop dreaming because sometimes the sun rises and your life is the peaceful paradise you always dreamed of.

Feel free to post a Coldplay song (because I just can’t get enough of them!) or a song that speaks to your heart and tells your life story.  I love sharing music and appreciate those who share music with me every Sunday, and for those of you who just started.

Paradise by Coldplay
Written by Colplay
Lyrics found at AZ Lyrics

When she was just a girl
She expected the world
But it flew away from her reach so
She ran away in her sleep
And dreamed of
Para-para-paradise, Para-para-paradise, Para-para-paradise
Every time she closed her eyes

When she was just a girl
She expected the world
But it flew away from her reach
And the bullets catch in her teeth
Life goes on, it gets so heavy
The wheel breaks the butterfly
Every tear a waterfall
In the night the stormy night she’ll close her eyes
In the night the stormy night away she’d fly

And dreams of
Para-para-paradise
Para-para-paradise
Para-para-paradise
Oh oh oh oh oh oh-oh-oh
She’d dream of
Para-para-paradise
Para-para-paradise
Para-para-paradise
Oh oh oh oh oh oh-oh-oh-oh

Lalalalalalalalalalala
And so lying underneath those stormy skies
She’d say, “oh, ohohohoh I know the sun must set to rise”

This could be
Para-para-paradise
Para-para-paradise
Para-para-paradise
Oh oh oh oh oh oh-oh-oh

This could be
Para-para-paradise
Para-para-paradise
Para-para-paradise
Oh oh oh oh oh oh-oh-oh

This could be
Para-para-paradise
Para-para-paradise
Para-para-paradise
Oh oh oh oh oh oh-oh-oh

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Please feel free to join Song Lyric Sunday with one of your own.  We love sharing music!

Here are the “rules”:

• Post the lyrics to a favorite song or a new song you want to share
• I’ve started including who wrote the song. (I think it’s a good idea to give credit where credit is due)
• Make sure you also credit the singer/band and provide a link to where you found the lyrics
• Link to the YouTube video, or pull it into your post so others can listen to the song
• Ping back to this post or my own Song Lyric Sunday post
• Read at least one other person’s blog so we can all share new and fantastic music and create amazing new blogging friends in the process

Check out the new badge for Song Lyric Sunday!  Feel free to start using it in your posts or add it to your site to show you are participating.

 

SoCS – Practicing Gratitude

I grew up in a pretty religious household and so I was taught to pray.  The only kind of prayer that ever really resonated with me, though, was a thankful one.  It always felt so weird to ask for things.  But it felt peaceful to say thank you for everything I had.  I don’t consider myself Christian anymore, but I do believe in practicing gratitude.

We were watching a Dateline special about Prince last night and I was blown away by how he lived his life.  It seemed to be at odds with his persona on stage.  He was so flamboyant and pushed the boundaries and limits of music and sexuality and I have nothing but respect for him.  This quote from him was the first thing I thought of when I read the prompt this morning:  “I pray every night, and I don’t ask for much. “I just say, ‘Thank you’ all the time.”

So, that’s what I aim to do today – not the praying part, the gratitude part.

I’m so grateful for my sister.  I know we struggled as kids and young adults, but our relationship has blossomed into more than just sisters.  She’s my best friend, my confidant and, I don’t know, my sister soul mate?  Is there such a thing?  If not, there should be.  Yesterday morning, I was feeling down in the dumps and picked up the phone to call her, but I put the phone down and said, “she doesn’t want to hear from my depressed ass.”  Literally two seconds later, she called me.  When I picked up the phone, I was laughing and all I said was, “I love you!”  She’s always there for me, even when she’s dealing with her own issues.  Thanks, Sissy!

I’m so  grateful for my fiance.  I believe I only just realized how safe I feel with him, and I can tell you, that is the best feeling!  He allows me to be me.  He is supportive and loving and I can’t say enough good things about him.  I am honestly looking forward to the rest of our lives together.

I’m so grateful for my children.  They are the light in my life and I’m in awe on a daily basis watching them grow and develop their talents.  Sometimes I can’t believe that we made it here.  I had my worries that the problems I struggled with when they were young would affect them in their later years.  And, who knows, maybe it still could… but for now, I believe they are happy, healthy and amazing human beings.

I could probably go on forever because once you start practicing gratitude, there is no end to it.  It just keeps coming and bringing joy and happiness with it.

Thank you for joining me today in my gratitude practice.

What/who are you grateful for?

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This post is part of Stream of Consciousness Saturday hosted by Linda G. Hill.  Today’s prompt was “ta”.  The word, “ta,” is British slang for thank you: use it this way, or find any other word that starts with those two letters. Enjoy! Please feel free to click the link and join in the fun.

Friday Fictioneers – Wrapped in Barbed Wire

PHOTO PROMPT © Madison Woods

I glance out the window, slowly stretching out the aches and grimacing around a yawn. The sun winks back at me with its familiar glow and I lurch back in surprise. I was expecting bleak clouds hovering in an expectant sky. Why is it that I long for the day to mimic the state of my heart?

Leaden.

Heavy.

Wrapped in barbed wire, bleeding and withering in the face of love turned to scorn.

I slowly stand back in the window and let the sun wash over me. Perhaps one day it will give me the courage I need to leave.

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Friday Fictioneers is a weekly flash fiction prompt where we are given a photo and asked to write a 100 word story – beginning, middle and end. This one came in at 101 words.

Click on the blue froggy to read other amazing 100-word stories!

Updates and hopefully helpful information about Mono

I posted on Monday about my son who had been sick for a few days.  The thing about it was that I knew what was wrong.  I really did.  I just started doubting myself for reasons that would probably take too long to explain here.  But, when your son can’t really walk for a few days, you start thinking of other, really horrible scenarios, and sometimes it’s easier just to take him in and have a doctor confirm it.  Only, our doctor isn’t really helpful like that.

He didn’t see anything that made him think anything other than injury, but I knew it wasn’t an injury.  So, I put a stop to his line of questioning and asked him if it could be related to Mono.  Andru was diagnosed with Mono (Mononucleosis) last September, so he’s had a rough go of it the past few months.  But the doctor looked at me like I was nuts and proceeded to tell me The Symptoms Of Mono.

Only, Andru wasn’t diagnosed with the normal symptoms; in fact, the doctor we took him to in September said he just had a virus and was literally ushering me out the door, but I pushed.  My son could barely move his arms to pick up a glass of water.  That is not normal!  He looked at me weird and said the only thing he could think of was Mono but he didn’t think Andru had it (probably because he only had a minor sore throat and he didn’t have a fever).

Surprise!  The results were Mono positive!

Monday, I had his pediatrician doing the same thing; but not only that, he was even doubting the last doctor because apparently he didn’t run the right test.  So, here’s where a helpful tip comes in.  When a doctor is testing for Mono, make sure they do the blood test that takes longer and not just the finger prick test.  It actually gives you levels that you can compare to these types of flare-ups that happen after the original diagnosis.  (I suppose I should caveat all of this and say that I’m no doctor, but I wish I’d known about all of this when Andru was diagnosed the first time)

His pediatrician decided to run the blood test and also to run a test to rule out childhood arthritis or anything more serious.  The more serious things were ruled out, but the Mono test came back with a level suggesting he has had Mono in the past.  If I had taken him on Thursday, the levels could have been higher, suggesting the virus is active right now.  Either way, I knew it was Mono-related on Thursday so I didn’t bother taking him in because there’s not a whole lot they can do for Mono.

Even though everyone else knows for sure now, it doesn’t change the fact that Andru will most likely be dealing with symptoms for up to the next six months.  However, he doesn’t get the usual symptoms.  And I suppose that’s my next bit of helpful information.  Everyone is different.  Different bodies do different things.  Not everyone is going to manifest an illness the same way.  I just wish doctors would be more aware of that when they are looking into strange symptoms that they can’t quite identify.  Oh yeah, and actually listen to the child and the parent.

Andru actually started feeling better on Tuesday and has been back in school and doing his normal childhood things, thank goodness.  A huge thank you to everyone who offered words of support on Monday.  They meant a lot to me!