One-Liner Wednesday – Stares from an unlikely guest

“The elephant is staring into my soul.” – Andru Espinosa while sitting in front of Mikey’s grave.

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We all agreed that the elephant had wee, beady eyes that stared straight through you.  Do you agree?


One-Liner Wednesday is hosted by Linda G. Hill. Click the link, read the rules and join in now! You won’t regret it!

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Teaser Tuesday – The War of Art

When I made a change in my belief system and started living a different life based on those beliefs, I never dreamed that my daughter would grow up to share those beliefs.  There was a point when my children were growing up that I was extremely concerned because I didn’t take them to church or give them what I consider “the stories” I was told as a child.  But you know what?  My children are fine.  I believe they soaked up my spirituality in some ways, even though I didn’t teach it to them.

I suppose that’s called “Living By Example” or something like that.

The reason I mention this is that my daughter recommended this book to me.  I’m not sure it has a whole lot to do with spirituality, but she did mention she finished (and loved) a book I gave her for her birthday which was about spirituality.  So, thanks, Adelle, for the book recommendation.

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I’m thinking if you haven’t already read The War of Art by Steven Pressfield, anyone who considers themselves an artist should buy it immediately.  I’m only a few pages in and I’m hooked.  I think it will also help with my Mindful Monday pursuits and basically life in general.

I hope you enjoy the quote I found from page 34 of the iBook copy.

“If you take Resistance at its word, you deserve everything you get.  Resistance is always lying and always full of shit.”


 

Teaser Tuesday is hosted by Jenn at Books and a Beat.

Anyone can play along! Just do the following:

• Grab your current read
• Open to a random page
• Share two (2) “teaser” sentences from somewhere on that page
• BE CAREFUL NOT TO INCLUDE SPOILERS! (make sure that what you share doesn’t give too much away! You don’t want to ruin the book for others!)
• Share the title & author, too, so that other TT participants can add the book to their TBR Lists if they like your teasers!

Mindful Monday – Listening to your body speak

 

I’ve been dealing with a sick child for the last four days, but I only started to get really worried in the last few days.  Sometimes it doesn’t matter how much you tell yourself that worry doesn’t help anything or anyone and the only thing you can control is this moment right here.  Sometimes, the worst possible scenarios enter your head and all you can do is not latch onto them and let them fester.

We are still trying to find out what’s wrong with my son (his knees have been hurting to the point that he can barely walk), but it got me to thinking today about intuition and listening to your body.  I know I’ve talked about intuition before, but this is the part of it where you pay attention to your body and what it’s telling you.

It also made me wonder why doctor’s don’t listen to patients as much as I think they should.  We are the ones living it, or watching our loved ones live it.  You’d think our opinions and thoughts would have more merit in what happens.  I guess that’s a sign you need to find a doctor who will listen to you, but sometimes it isn’t that simple.

This is the second time I’ve had a child with an illness or something happening to their bodies that our pediatrician doesn’t seem to understand.  And instead of listening to me (or my children) he seems to only pay attention to his own thoughts on the matter.  It’s almost like he latches onto the most viable option and anything else is just not right.  I ended up getting a second opinion with my daughter years ago, but I waited far too long.  I chose to listen to a doctor whom I knew wasn’t listening to me and taking my thoughts into account.  Luckily, I found someone who did listen and we were able to take the necessary steps to get her better.

This time, though, I’m going to bail pretty quickly if the doctor isn’t helpful and if things don’t get better for my son.

Sometimes as parents and even for our own medical needs we just have a feeling.  We don’t know what it is and we can’t explain it, but it’s there; and if you don’t advocate for yourself or your child, there are doctors out there who won’t do it either.

The last time I took my son to the doctor, he almost let us leave saying it was just a virus.  But I stayed.  I told the doctor my son could barely move his arms to pick up a glass of water.  I knew there was something wrong, I just didn’t know what.  In that case, the doctor ran a Mono test even though he didn’t believe it would come back positive.  But it did.

I believe there is something wrong again, but I have no idea what.  And if it doesn’t clear up soon, I will push until we find a way to help him feel better.  I don’t know if that’s mother’s intuition or just being connected to my son, but his body is saying something and I aim to find out what it is.


Bee at A Spirit of Healing is currently hosting Mindful Monday while Colleen at Silver Threading is away.

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Song Lyric Sunday – Latch by Sam Smith

I honestly had no idea what to do for today’s Song Lyric Sunday, so I did what any mom would do… I asked my son.  He gave me two songs that, frankly, I didn’t like at all.  He’s really into rap and hip-hop and I’ve juts never really been into that kind of music.  I told him I really liked Sam Smith and he picked this one.

I think I’ve heard this song once or twice, but I hadn’t really listed to the lyrics until today.  It’s such a classic love story – once you find someone, you just want to latch onto them and never let go.  “You, you enchant me even when you’re not around.”  I honestly feel that way about my fiance.  It’s so nice to be in a safe place in love and I’m grateful every day that I met him and we stuck through the hard times.

I hope you enjoy this week’s Song Lyric Sunday pick.  Feel free to post your own love song (even though we just barely did that one not too long ago).  There are lots of choices out there, and I know I have more than one favorite, so you must have more than one too.

Latch by Sam Smith
Written by James Napier, Howard Lawrence, Guy Lawrence and Sam Smith
Lyrics found at AZ Lyrics

You lift my heart up when the rest of me is down
You, you enchant me even when you’re not around
If there are boundaries, I will try to knock them down
I’m latching on, babe, now I know what I have found

I feel we’re close enough
Could I lock in your love?
I feel we’re close enough
Could I lock in your love?

Now I’ve got you in my space
I won’t let go of you
Got you shackled in my embrace
I’m latching on to you

I’m so en-captured, got me wrapped up in your touch
Feel so enamored, hold me tight within your clutch
How do you do it? You got me losing every breath
What did you give me to make my heart bleed out my chest?

I feel we’re close enough
Could I lock in your love?
I feel we’re close enough
Could I lock in your love?

Now I’ve got you in my space
I won’t let go of you
Got you shackled in my embrace
I’m latching on to you

Now I’ve got you in my space
I won’t let go of you
Got you shackled in my embrace
I’m latching on to you

I’m latching on to you


Please feel free to join Song Lyric Sunday with one of your own.  We love sharing music!

Here are the “rules”:

  • Post the lyrics to a favorite song or a new song you want to share
  • I’ve started including who wrote the song. (I think it’s a good idea to give credit where credit is due)
  • Make sure you also credit the singer/band and provide a link to where you found the lyrics
  • Link to the YouTube video, or pull it into your post so others can listen to the song
  • Ping back to this post or my own Song Lyric Sunday post
  • Read at least one other person’s blog so we can all share new and fantastic music and create amazing new blogging friends in the process

Check out the new badge for Song Lyric Sunday!  Feel free to start using it in your posts or add it to your site to show you are participating.

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SoCS – A day of firsts

It’s getting a bit late in the day and I’m thinking I’m running out of time to post something, even though it’s still technically only mid-afternoon… I’m fully admitting that my idea is a bit lame, but it was all I could think of.

The idea might be a bit lame, but the “firsts” are not.  Or at least not one of them

I posted yesterday about my nephew and today was the day we all met at the cemetery for our bi-yearly get-together with Mikey.  We do it around the anniversary of his death and his birthday.  Today was the first time Brody “met” his brother.  I’ve been pretty emotional for the last few days, but writing that just made me smile!  And here’s a picture to go along with it…

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Moving on to a completely different subject…

Today also marks the first time I have ever put highlights in my hair.  I would post a pic, but I also had one more first today.  I’m assuming it’s a sign of age, but I have hair in places on my face that aren’t really attractive, so I had some waxing done and my face didn’t really take a liking to it.  I’ve confined myself to the dark depths of the house until my face looks more normal.

Except I have teenage boys and nothing is ever that simple.  I had to stop to get pizza on the way home because none of us have had lunch yet.  I honestly wanted a bandanna or something to cover my face because I look pretty dreadful.  I can’t even imagine what they thought; but maybe I’m placing myself in too high esteem.  The guy that helped me looked harried and not at all happy to be doing what he was doing.  I’ll bet he didn’t even notice… hopefully…

And now that I’m home, Jaxon just told me I have to take him somewhere else tonight.  Luckily I’m just dropping him off, but still.

Why do we do these kinds of things to ourselves?  There was a point a few years ago when I said I was going to grow old gracefully.  Whatever that meant two years ago, certainly does not mean gray hair, a mustache and a beard today.  So, I’m dying my hair and waxing.

Good times.

(I have no idea how this all turned into old age, especially considering the sweet picture up there.  I think I just needed a break from all the sadness lately so thanks for sticking with me through my slight madness this afternoon.)


This post containing a few firsts is part of Stream of Consciousness Saturday hosted by Linda G. Hill.  Today’s prompt was “no” (as in number and the number I chose was one).  Please feel free to click the link and join in the fun.

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In Memoriam

I’m going to take a step away from Friday Fictioneers today to remember my beautiful nephew.

Today marks the twelve year anniversary of his death.  I’m honestly not sure why the day has affected me so much, but it has.  I wasn’t able to think of a story or really anything else other than Mikey.  I’m wondering if it has something to do with his brother…

Brody was born in December and I can only hope that in some way Mikey and Brody met.  Either way, I know Brody will always know of Mikey because his memory will always be alive as long as we all are.

I downloaded some pictures and collages that we have created of Mikey  over the years that I will include at the end.  My sister-in-law created probably the best one so far – a side-by-side of Brody and Mikey…  He was only 18 months old when he died, a far too short of a time for him to be here.

I was thinking today of the few memories I have of him…

I waited at the hospital longer than anyone and when he finally came into this world, I was one of the first ones to hold him after his parents.  I will forever remember his bright red hair.

When my brother and his wife at the time walked into my house with Mikey when he was six months old, his hair was standing a good six inches off his head – not laying down but standing straight up.  I told them he needed a haircut, but they just couldn’t.  His hair was beautiful, but it was way out of control, lol.  I don’t even know how much longer it took them to give him his first haircut.

I also remember his smile and how he started knowing who I was.  He called me “Tia” and would say “Tia” to his mom when he didn’t want to go down for a nap… I so would have helped him out if I’d been there.

I haven’t talked about Mikey in a long time and honestly, it’s hard… but today it was meant to be.  I feel his spirit close today and I can’t help but think he will always be with us in some way.

Thanks for joining me today in remembering our little angel.

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On Driving – Stupidity, Rage and Trying to Stay Calm

No matter how much I tell myself to stay calm, there are times (probably far too many than I’m willing to admit) that rage happens while I’m driving.  And is it any wonder?  People on the roads are really stupid; which is strange if you think about it.  You’re behind the wheel of a machine that can cause a lot of damage if used incorrectly.  You’d think people would be more cautious with that knowledge.

There was a comedian (and for the life of me, I can’t remember who it was) who compared changing lanes to butting in line at a bank.  You’d never walk into a bank and survey the line then decide to step in front of someone… “I think I’ll go right here!”  So, why do we do it when we’re driving?

But, my rage is mostly internal these days (mostly being the key word).  I learned the hard way that sometimes it’s better not to vocalize how pissed you are at the stupidity of other drivers.  And here comes my story…

So, I’m driving home one night after work in the lane I’m supposed to be in because I know I’m turning left in, I don’t know, miles.  But this guy in a huge truck decides he needs to be in my lane and without a blinker and without making sure he had enough room (he didn’t), he moved into my lane.  I literally slammed on my breaks to avoid hitting him, and in my anger I didn’t honk or flip him off… I simply flashed my brights at him.

That, apparently, affected this guy big time because he slammed on his breaks in front of me.  I once again had to slam on my breaks and just about hit him the second time around.  He then drove really slowly… nauseatingly slowly.  I realized I was in a situation, so I decided to hang back.  But this guy wasn’t done.  He changed lanes, back to the one he’d just left, hit his brakes again and made his way behind me.  He then proceeded to tail me with his brights on for about three or four blocks.

Needless to say, I was scared out of my mind.  I called home and asked my roommate to meet me outside because I didn’t know what would happen if this guy decided to follow me to my end destination.  He didn’t… but I was terrified!

And what did I do?  Basically, I “told” the guy he did something really stupid, but he didn’t want to accept that, I guess.

In my search for the comedian about the bank line, I actually found this little bit right here by Louis CK about changing lanes.  Funny as hell!  And then I also found this one which basically says what I’m saying here in a round about way.  (Please note that Louis CK is not for everyone and swearing happens…)

What I’m trying to say with all of this is that driving basically sucks and if I could avoid it, I would.  But since I can’t, the best I can do is drive cautiously and just breathe; because stupid will happen and there isn’t a damn thing I can do about it.